There are a lot of great characters with many excellent quotes inKing of the Hill. The main character, Hank, still gets referenced today in memes. Another great character is Dale. He’s ignorant a bit like Hank but more paranoid. He thinks the government is out to get him as Dale is a conspiracy nut.
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It’ll be interesting to see what the newly announced season ofKing of the Hillwill do with Dale. There have been a lot of conspiracies that have sprung up since the show ended. Some of them are fun while others are perhaps a bit too touchy to put into animated form. Whatever the case may be, let’s rewind the clock and remember Dale’s best quotes and episodes. There will be spoilers.
10“You Don’t Know Who I Am But I Know Where You Live”
“Square Peg” is a great episode that spins the idea of sexual education on its head. In most comedies or dramas, the shows tend to focus on the kids. This episode is more about the adults. Peggy has to step inas a substituteand be the one to teach the kids.
Most adults are not cool with that. Dale even calls in bomb threats to the school as well as Peggy at home. He does a poor job of disguising his voice in this quote, though, which is why it is funny.
9“If You Want I Can Show You How To Make A Bomb Out Of A Roll Of Toilet Paper And A Stick Of Dynamite”
This is the perfect quote to showcase how blunt and silly Dale can be at the same time. Is it a joke or is he being serious? Anyone can make a bomb out of dynamite. It’s dynamite! The cardboard tube is irrelevant to the process.
This great quote comes from the episode called “Snow Job.” In it, Hank is forced to work under a new employee, Vickers, who is driving him mad. That’s why Dale suggests the bomb to take Vickers out of the picture.
8“You Are Familiar With My Credentials”
This is the first episode wherein Dale gets hisbounty hunter license. He didn’t even know it was this easy to become one. The class, of course, seems to be a scam. All he did was watch some videos. Dale has no real training, which is why the bounty clerk refuses to give him a job.
He lays it out flat, but Dale takes it as a compliment, which is when he says this quote. This is the B-plot that eventually ties into the main thread of the episode, “Pregnant Paws,” wherein Hank is trying to get Ladybird pregnant.
7“Boil Up Some Mt. Dew, It’s Gonna Be A Long Night”
“Dog Dale Afternoon” is one it’s the earlier episodes ofKing of the Hillthat showcases Dale’s heightened sense of paranoia. Dale was being a jerk about Hank’s lawnmower at the start. Then Dale buys a new one and brags about it. This is a bridge too far for Hank, so he and the other boys decide to steal it as a prank.
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Of course, Dale thinks it’s agiant conspiracy theory. He starts to put together a corkboard in the basement, which is when he tells Nancy to boil up the Mt. Dew. The idea of boiling soda is purely disgusting.
6“Did You Think It Was A Water Fountain…I Did”
“Little Horrors of Shop” is a great Hank episode, but there are some fun moments with Dale in it. Hank is forced to take a vacation from work, so he bums around with Dale a few times. He is in the middle of fumigating a home, so he tells Hank all about the pleasures of using other people’s stuff when they aren’t around. This quote comes after Hank looks at the bidet next to him. Dale at first laughs like Hank is unsophisticated, but then slowly reveals he also has no idea.
5“Bill I Didn’t Know You Grew Up In Cajun Country…And I Don’t Care”
“A Beer Can Named Desired” sees Hank winning a trip tothe Super Bowl. He gets to see the game and compete for some money. Upon overhearing this news, the other boys invite themselves along. Bill brings up that they can visit his family in Louisiana, which Dale is not impressed by.
It’s a great scene and quote because if Dale was a kinder character, he would care. It’s a flip on the sitcom norm. Overall it is a wild episode ofKing of the Hill.
4“Open The Screen For God’s Sake Hank”
“To Kill a Ladybird” sees Bobbybefriend a raccoon. When Hank finds out he flips his lid, thus leading to Dale volunteering for the exterminator job. When Dale chases it under the house he tells Hank not to open the hatch, no matter what he says.
Seconds later Dale starts to scream and claw at the cage door. Hank and the others watch for a few minutes before eventually opening it. Dale turns on a dime and says, “You had one job, and you failed.” Way to send mixed signals Dale.
3“Mask, Smask”
“The Exterminator” is perhaps the greatest episode ofKing of the Hillthat showcases Dale’s prowess as an exterminator. This line comes from the very beginning. Dale contemplates how to say “Mask, Smask” for at least ten seconds before deciding on the right response to his client.
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Ten seconds may not seem long, but it is a very self-indulgent joke. It was done either to eat time away in the episode or to show just how addled Dale is. Either way, it isa funny moment. The rest of the episode is about Dale taking a desk job, which then leads to classic Dale escapades.
2“Pocket Sand”
Dale yelling “Pocket Sand” accompanied by his expression and action might be the greatest Dale moment in the entire series. This comes into play in the episode called “Soldier of Misfortune.” Dale is down on his luck so Hank and the boys hire him for afake stealth mission.
It’s partly a prank, but they also want to build up his confidence. Too bad for them Dale takes things to the next level and thinks Hank, or Mr. Big as his alias is called, is setting him up for a conspiracy. Classic Dale. Who carries pockets full of sand around anyway?
1“From A Distance They May Have Looked Like A Large Hairy Customer With A Bright Red A**”
“Megalo Dale” is another episode wherein Hank gets Dale a job. By this point inKing of the Hill, Hank befriends the owner of Mega Lo Mart and all bad blood has been smoothed over. As a favor to him, Hank gets Dale appointed as the exterminator of the store.
Dale thinks there might be a baboon running around, which is why he asks this line to a couple of teenagers. The idea that these teens would see someone hairy and naked and not report it is the joke here.
